CHINA PLAGUED BY RISE IN DRUNKEN WISEASSES

The Chinese Government has admitted that it is struggling to deal with "Western-style" drunken wise-asses--popping up everywhere throughout China.  

Here, Xiang Xin, mugs for the camera shortly before barfing all over the Tienanmen Square guards' shoes.

Mexican girl plays "Hide-and-Go-Seek" with a Tuba

 Consuela Maria Constanza Aguillar Maria Amarillo Maria Perez de Maria, 7, apparently confused about the general nature of "hide-and-go-seek,"  earnestly counts down from 50 while waiting for the Tuba to hide.

CRAZED CHINESE ZOMBIE BOY

A crazed, Chinese Zombie boy lashes out while undergoing treatment for his freaky ZOMBIE condition.

In this photo, Zhiu Chaing, age 5, ENRAGED with that tell-tale lust for flesh, lashes out at his father--trying to gnaw through his jacket, clear-through to his vital organs.

Stupid Zombie Boy!

Voted LEAST LIKELY TO EVER, EVER REPRODUCE

Introducing...2009's "Least Likely to ever reproduce....ever!"

(last year's winner:  Nancy Pelosi)

Terrorist Vending Machine demonstrated in a busy Airport!

Terrorist Vending Machine!

This amazing device, produced by the Iranian division of Wham-O, is the world's first successful attempt at the Terrorist Vending Machine.  

Says Ibrahim Bani-Sadr al Alouf: "It is an unbeatable value.  We offer our public a convenient service at a low cost...and with that certain 'Persian' flair that Iran is known for."

 

JD Salnger admits: "I only ever read the Cliffs Notes."

Reclusive writer, JD Salinger came forward today to admit that he has never actually read any of his books, including "Catcher in the Rye."

Salinger says that he, like zillions of American students, merely go by just with the Cliffs Notes versions of his works.

Very Late Term Abortion Performed on Kansas Abortionist

Late-term abortion specialist, Dr. George Tiller was gunned-down in the lobby of his church.  It is believed that Dr. Tiller was NOT in Church scouting out potential pregnant women and promoting his "speciality."

Technically, though it appears that he was indeed murdered, the official term from Planned Parenthood is that a VERY LATE TERM ABORTION was performed on the Dr. himself.  Therefore, no charges will be filed.